After Alexandra Barrett's father died, she wrote a beautiful that inspired me to share some of the things I did and still do to ease the pain and maintain the memories.
My father died when I was 13. He had 4 heart attacks by the time he died at 39. I was so damn angry with him for leaving me. I used to pretend he was still around. Today, I believe he still is. It's been 52 YEARS now since he's been gone, but I still keep his memory alive. Not just his, but my mom's, grandparents, relatives and of course, my dear friends.
For me, I create photo collages and sometimes lifestories. I believe each photograph I have has a story captured in a single moment. So I capture the moment.
For you, I hope you can find something in this list that will help you to remember and keep remembering through the years.
I hope this will help you Alexandra. . .my dear friend.
Please add on to these.
1) Share your memories with friends and family and get them to share theirs too. You may learn things that you didn't know about your loved one.
2) Leave memorial flowers at your church, or another special spot such as the beach.
3) Create a memory box containing special items that belonged to you and your loved one. Place little notes in it with special memories on.
4) Put notes into a box with a lock on it. Place messages into this box and write things down which you wish you had said to your loved one before they passed away.
5) Make a collage of all your favorite photographs of your loved one and put it up on the wall where you can look at it anytime you like.
6) Honor your loved one's favorite tradition.
7) Create a new tradition in remembrance of your loved one. For example you could light a candle and listen to your loved one's favorite music on the 20th day of every month.
8) Hang a stocking at Christmas containing lots of loving memories of your loved one.
9) Gather your friends and family together in celebration of your loved one. Perhaps throw a remembrance party on the anniversary of their death.
10) Light a candle in your loved one's memory.
11) Make a memory book of photos and memoirs of your loved one.
12) Donate money to a charity, or donate your time to help those less fortunate than you.
13) Wear a photo pin of your loved one or put their picture into a locket to treasure always.
14) Start a memorial trust or scholarship fund for your loved one.
15) Write a poem or a story about your loved one (Create a LifeStory)
16) Visit a place that you used to like going to together. Remember the good times you had there.
17) Hang a special bauble or ornament from the Christmas tree.
18) Plant a tree in memorial of your loved one. Place a plaque next to the tree with a message on it.
19) Listen to your loved ones favorite music.
20) Cook your loved ones favorite meal and think of them while you are eating it.
21) Make a memorial quilt in your loved ones memory. You could even make it out of their old clothes.
22) Release balloons with friends and family in memory of your loved one. Perhaps attach little notes onto the balloons with messages on them.
23) Visit your loved one's resting place often and take flowers to leave at their grave.
24) Name a pet of even your next child after your loved one.
25) Plant a memory garden for your loved one, plant their favorite flowers and trees and every time you are tending to it you will remember your loved one.
26) Write a letter to your lost loved one, tell them everything you are missing about them and everything that you learned from them.
27) If you are hosting an event such as a wedding or christening, do something to remember your loved one at that special time, to show how much you wish they could be there with you. Perhaps light a candle or hold a few moments silence in their memory.
28) Wear a piece of jewelry which belonged to your loved one, whenever you look at it, you will remember them.
29) On special occasions, such as birthdays or Christmas, buy a gift for your loved one and then donate it to someone who needs it, such as a homeless person. It will make their day as well as yours.
30) Put a bench in your garden, or in the cemetery garden with a plaque on it which says in memory of your loved one and a few words about them.
Remember you were loved all through your life's journey. . .and you loved them right back.
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